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I’m sleepppppyyyyyyyyyyyy! Sorry if my writing is incoherent~

It’s been a difficult week..

Thankyous for the past few days,

to you:

1) AH thankyou for the really wonderful dinner! I really love talking to you about anything under the sun and the moon (: it was a GREAT 3 hours spent.. I haven’t laughed so – carefreely like that in a while haha. You’re a super dee duper special senior to me <3

2) Thanks for sharing with me your thoughts and troubles again.. Do you know how glad I am that you don’t just keep it to yourself all the time? Run this race frienddd, fight the good fight. It’s going to be painful and long and hard and uncertain, isn’t it already?, but we’ll be there beside you, I promise :)

3) Sorry to keep nagging at you about my concern. ): You told me before that you hoped you didn’t mind me nagging.. and now I hope you don’t too. Thankyou for being so – nice, i just wish you wouldn’t keep thanking me again and again because I feel like I can’t do ANYTHING for you though I wish.. I could.

4) Thankyou dear, for letting me be there for you through your pain, for spending long moments on the phone, helping me to understand your feelings and to organise your thoughts.. I’m just so glad that you trust God :) then I can breathe easily, because I trust Him to do a healing work in you :)

5) Thankyou for sticking beside me through it all, for affirming me, for encouraging me, because I wouldn’t have done it without your support. As usual, it means alot to me! And besides, I wouldn’t have gained another friend and hopefully, more when I get to know your other family :) 

6) THANKYOU FOR BEING STRONG you really are! you’re amazing (: I can only imagine the kind of pain you went through when you described it to me, wahhhh I can only say that your love is very genuine and pure, it really touched my heart when you told me how you handled it.. ahhhh I’ve been praying for you to find comfort! and thanks for being such a great friend <3

7) Thankyou for sharing with me your thoughts too in that even longer reply – 4+ pages in a word doc?! hahaha overwhelmed :) so touched haha! really sorry I’ve been tied down.. I’ll reply finish as SOON as i can and thankyou again for being so sincere!

8) Thankyou for lifting up my feelings with your little updates on your side especially in this tough week :) It’s really good to know how you are doing as a whole and for taking the painstaking effort to reply as such! It really brings me much joy to write back hehe :)

9) Thankyou guys, for helping me to see God’s plan in all of this, that I will not be dissatisfied or resentful :)

10) Thank YOU. For helping all of us survive this week, for speaking to me, for prompting me, for helping me to encourage, to pray without ceasing, to love and to care.. thank you God :)

I think I’ve found my ministry. It’s been there all along.

And all my days are gifts from You
I pray Id use them as You want me to
Use them for You

I think I’ve grown wrinkles overnight ): ): Haha I feel so useless that I’m so burdeneddd, I woke up today with a heavy heart..

Stop worrying, start praying! Thanks Pastor Ronald for the really great sermon which spoke straight to my heart!

Maryam says:

oh honey, firstly you are not useless
i mean seriously, you could totally help people not be late
that aside, because everyone tells you stuff all the time?

truth is, i like the way you see things. miserable or not, its fairly admirable.
but maybe, just this moment in time, maybe this is when you should look at things differently
not everything can be solved and not everyone can solve anything
you can’t heal the world with just a snap of your fingers
you can just tie a giant tourniquet and hope the blood stops flowing

florence says:
yeah..
thanks so much mar
i think i understand that..
it’s just that i feel thoroughly inadequate to help them, humbled that they will share them with me, burdened that i can do nothing, worried that i am making things worse..

Maryam says:
its okay, don’t worry
we all feel that way at some point
i guess you just have to remember that while God will help them, He might just be helping you help them

thanks so much mar, thankyou. i wish i could be half the comfort you are to me to them :)

I haven’t had the time to think about CCA trials.. ):

Please unlink me friends! i find it hard to post without knowing whose reading it (: thanks!

Heehee teo huiqing is super cute (: this is a post just for her! you mean thiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssssssss much to me :D and more!

i really love how we can talk and talk to no end :) we never run out of things to say, discuss and share! Yesterday we had a long phone conv as usual yesterday, 2h+ and in the end we forced ourselves to get off just because we both hadn’t bathed and it was 2+am  in the morning. Even as I put the phone down, I felt soooooo reluctant to :) Last week we were talking and we started just randomly taking turns to ask each other questions. Favourite food? Favourite time of the day? Rainy/sunny? Haha she likened our phone convs to one which may never end, if we had no human needs, like sleep etc. And somehow or other we started talking about dying and I told her that I always thought that I would die from cancer or something and she started crying when she imagined my death. I was so toucheddd man! We both felt that each other’s deaths would be something that might actually cause us to struggle in our faith but that would be the last thing either of us wanted for the other la so when either one of those days come.. We’ll be strong :) Right? Haha.

We’re super similar in many ways – one of our GREATEST fears is losing our parents unsaved and our other loved ones too. Our thinking is very alike so we understand each other extremely well. And we love each other alot! Hahaha very blessed to have a friend like her :D

<3

Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You’re in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak

Had a super fun night when we camped over at the airport to send them OSL 09 team off! Hahaha reached Changi at about 11.30 and met up with QiQi and Shamaine Ho who spent the time camwhoring -.- (WITHOUT ME) Hahaha then we went on to become the biggest pigs in the universe. S-HO AND QQ ARE INCREDIBLE HAHA. It was sooo funny how they had supper #1 + #2 AND breakfast.

Haha Bella, Esther and Deborah joined us later, but they were so calm and just read their books and used their laptop while we were at the next table being constantly high the whole night. we made cards and letters for the Cambodian kids and the 09 mentors while waiting for the 09 team to arrive at about 4am. QQ and S-HO drew the cutest pictures zomg, QQ’s guys had mohawk hair and S-ho REALLY took ONE HOUR for each card. Oh man I think I really enjoyed myself so much laughing and laughing at them! Then we played one round of Slapjack which was HILARIOUS, even though s-ho was like the sleepiest, her reaction time was super fast. Omg. So funny! And we took weird pics of flying pnut, the scary striped green and grey monster and erm pocky adverts. We talked alot of rubbish too, can’t really remember now what it was about already hahaha, but I totally didn’t feel sleepy at all with their company. It was such a fun and long night seriously!

By 4, we packed up and got ready to leave t2. S-ho managed to trick Jiaying into thinking she was the only one there out of the 08 team hahaha even though it was super obvious when she said “we know” and quickly corrected it to “i know”. Hahaha blur Jiaying. Then we excitedly went to the skytrain and realised that the station was closed!! Hahaha nearly died for a min until ALERT qq realised there were signs showing us how to walk there with estimated distances and times.

By then I was SO EXCITED felt like I was leaving too hahaha. Mixed up arrival and departure hall until ALERT qq realised and then we went to the correct belt and hid around the corner and debated our next plan on how to surprise them and make a grand entrance. Hahaha we decided to run to the next pillar and just chiong for it. Best idea of bella’s ever we just made a mad dash and clattered so much they all obviously saw! Hahaha hung around there for quite a while, talked to the mentors, gave them their letters :) Oh man it was sooo fun to just chat and joke around with them & pnut made a new friend called ducky! Very nice seeing them all leading the younger ones now, taking attendance, making sure bags are accounted for, planning their next course of action etc. Then before we knew it, they went off for photo-taking time and we got to have some 08 shots too! Poor Mr Mizah looked like he was lacking red bull big time and Mr Seg seemed abit stressed? When they were about to move off already, Then Ms Chia and Mr Lim stole our limelight and made THEIR big entrance. GRRR. :) We didn’t know he was going to take a later flight than them! Hahaha Mr Chang and Mr Ho also came to send the team off at 4+ so nice of them!

WE WERE SO EXCITED FOR THE TEAM :) Did alot of funny things beside the glass panel like making hand signs and trying to tell all of the mentors wordlessly that we love them hahaha. Waved and waved like nobody’s business. Deedee was so funny she kept dragging them back to say bye ;D Then they finally left!

Then we decided to send Mr Lim off too since his flight was in 2h and they wanted to go back for macs breakfast again ANYWAY. Mr Chang and Mr Ho offered to drive us to t2 but we made Mr Lim get into their car and we squashed in Ms Chia’s cute fluffy car, Yingyin sliding about the seats haha. In the end, Mr Lim treated us so he chose his uncle place, the kopitiam. By then it was just qq, yy, s-ho and me, was so funny to sit around 3 small tables and have breakfast with the vice-principal and the director too. Mr Lim was being very lame as usual with his rubbish about lack of eggs=lack of intelligence. And Ms Chia putting a whole lot of salt into her eggs by accident :D but overall it was cool company!

I gave Mr Lim my card. Told him it was documents and was for him to read on the plane when he was bored. Haha he was abit ?? about it cos it was in a file, but he later read it and promised to definitely keep in touch :) Seriously hope that RGS won’t just become something in the distant past next time haha.

By the time we were done, it was about 7am sunrise already! I went to church straight from there haha was overall a crazy fun night :)

Hope that they will touch many in Cambodia.. I keep thinking about them everyday at random times wondering if they’re looking at the stars in Cambodia, struggling with the first few lessons perhaps, getting used to the cold water…

Miss Cambodia so much :)

Sigh ):

sorry to be so negative on my blog recently…

Got tons of people I wanna talk to now ):

/edit: HAHAHA ANTHEA UNDERSTANDS MY TOUGH PERIODS :) :) :) <3

ild rather have 5 math exams

florence ): says:

thats why i have to get baptised this year

do you think i will die?

florence ): says:

PLEASE PRAY THAT MY PARENTS WILL SUPPORT MY BAPTISM!

And pray for the morning prayer session going on in RGS tmr :) We really need unity in Christ!